Category: Parent Talk
we recently discovered that our family and some of our closer friends are planning a huge party for the adoption finalization date, and they want to throw us a tottaler shower since we didn't get to have a baby shower. alot of familys who adopt have these tottaler showers, and I don't know if I really want one. it seems a little selfish of us to expect people to get him stuff when he really doesn't need a single thing. I was speachless when they told me what they were planning, they have even went so far as to rint out the building where there going to have it. I don't want to be a bitch and tell them that I don't want it after they have already planned and have already put money in to it but I don't really like this sort of stuff. it's not about me so I guess I should just grit my teath and bare it. it just makes me really uncomfortable. baby showers are to get a baby things that he or she needs, but I just don't know, a tottler shower? I'd never even heard of one till they told me about it. and I guess it makes me feel like were timpting fate. it's like buying your first set of clothing for the little one your carrieing and then having a miscarage. we are not 100 percent sure we're getting him yet, so it's hard. and I think our friends and family jump the gun quite a bit and don't think about those things.
and it's almost like getting married for the seccond time and asking for another wedding shower, or moving in to your fifth house and asking for a fifth house warming party.
they want me to do a baby redgrestry, what? where would I even do one? what would I put on it? tottler bed? 3t clothing? huge stroler because he's braking my back? i'm confused. and like i have said, i never even heard of one of these till they told me about it so i don't know what to expect.
there even planning a dinner and dance and aaaaaaah!
have any of you guys ever heard of one of these?
do you think it would be rood for me to tell them to cancel it? I just don't know any more.
oh sweetheart!~!!! Take a deep cleansing breath. Now blow it out. Ahhhh!!!! Is that better?
Honestly, I've never heard of a toddler shower, but it sounds jlike a heck of a lot of fun. Of course I think parties are what makes the human race special. It would have been nice if they'd asked you for a bit of input in to your big day. I mean what kinds of activities would make you happy, what would give your baby son joy etc. however who am i....
Instead of being piled up with a bunch of stuff you may or may not need, here are some practical suggestions. you could have a book shower. ask them to get titles in alternative format that you can use. If the gift thing really makes you uncomfortable, state that you have all you need and wish that people would donate in your name to the adoption agency/program where your child came from or to a children's charity in your area.
how is a dance kid friendly? if you have to have this thing, which makes you feel uncomfortable, suggest instead of the deejauy and loud music that they put the money toward a clown or a face painter or a moon bounce.
IYour family loves you and wants to show you that they think you are a special person. Remember there are three languages of love. one is gifts, one is time, and one is i forget what the heck it is. The problem we have is if our language is different then the people we care about. Take this for what it is, relax, let the drama swirl around you and most importantly, have a great time.